


They Tell Me I'm a Danger To Myself

by Prettykittay



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 06:37:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1295110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettykittay/pseuds/Prettykittay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy starts to find out a few things about himself that hadn't really occured to him earlier on in life and he's scared shitless to own up to himself let alone anyone else. Will he face up to his feelings and finally let adam know how he feel's? And can Adam finally admit to loving him...</p>
<p>so they're caught in an awkward situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys this is my first fanfic I've manned up enough to post ever! So i hope you guys enjoy it criticism welcome i won't bite :)

Life was going pretty swell for Adam Lambert he was finally starting to feel as if he really did belong. He was single, free and generally loving life as it was... of course one day it would be nice to have a partner but right now he was relishing the freedom that came with the passport to singleton life or at least that’s what his head was telling him. At this very moment in time Adam was busy drifting in and out of fantasy and reality, yeah he was day dreaming... he did that. A lot.  
“Adam... Adam, hello? Is anybody home in that head of yours?” Tommy sighed and waved his hands in front of Adams face hoping it’ll distract him from whatever ridiculous thought he was currently engrossed in. “oh fuck sorry i uh i suppose i zoned out for a minute there... “Adams eyes opened wide while he tried to adjust himself back into reality and fixing his vision on Tommy, he scanned tommy from top to bottom, long slender figure... his arms laced in tattoos, his face perfectly chiselled petite and pretty, his hair was like the cherry on top of the cake it finished Tommy’s look off perfectly it’s what made him well... him. “You have got to stop fantasising about straight boys it’s not gonna help you Lambert you don’t wanna have to explain to your best friend that your currently sporting an erection for him do you?” Adams head was right. It would be very unprofessional to confess to your band mate that you want to fuck his brains out. “No shit Sherlock, I thought we were going back to yours for movie night remember you have the memory of a goldfish” Tommy fondled in his pockets while trying to find the keys to his car. “yeah i know i remembered stop acting all diva on me Tommy Joe some might think you been hanging around with the gays for too long” Adam shot him a mischievous grin and giggled cheekily while standing up to reposition his pants seeing as the intruder in his pants was leaving little room for its neighbours. Tommy punched Adam in the arm “god damn you’d better move before i tackle you to the ground” Tommy playfully threatened. “ok ok I’m sorry” Adam shrieked as Tommy made a pass at tickling him around the ribs “now seeing as you have no beer at yours and i obviously can’t drink that coconut shit that taste like piss water and i certainly will not be seen drinking a martini I’m gonna pop home grab some cans and get a shower then I’ll be over that alright?” Tommy asked “you have no taste for the finer things in life Thomas ill have you know coconut water does wonders for the skin... that’s why I’m so flawless” Adam said with no sense of shame but a glimmer of sarcasm. “Yeah yeah twinkle toes now hop to it will be at yours in about an hour ok” Tommy scuttled whilst hopping into his car. He waved goodbye to Adam and stuck his keys in the ignition and drove off. He drove through the street reminiscing on the years he’d spent with Adam and the band, the memories they shared, the places they’d been... this was his life and he couldn’t be any happier let alone one of the luckiest people alive, his boss had an amazing voice with a wonderful heart and the others were just as humble. He dropped off at the store remembering he’d emptied his fridge of beer last night, he picked up a few cans that were seen to be on offer (Christmas came early) he felt he’d earnt the right to let loose for the weekend he had a busy week so he picked up an extra pack just to be safe. He through the cans in the back seat and got into the front seat and drove off. When he got to his he realised he only had 30 minutes to get a shower, sort his hair out and put some make up on. “Shit” he hissed under his breath, it was gonna be a tight schedule. He turned the nob of the shower on and shed himself of his clothes he sighed as he felt the droplets from the shower head bounce against the tip of his shoulder and slowly caressed his skin as it slid down his body, he lathered up his hair and washed his self sufficiently. He grabbed the closest towel that was hanging off the rail next to the shower and hopped out wrapping it around his waist slumbering into the bedroom to his wardrobe. He picked out a black tee with some pattern shit on it and a pair of skinny jeans, after all it was only a casual thing he wasn’t trying to impress anyone right? Right.

Fluffing up his hair and applying some eyeliner to his lower and some to his higher lids he was ready to leave. He slid his leather jacket on and got in the car. A strange feeling inside like butterflies consumed his stomach... was he nervous? And why would he be nervous he’s been around Adam a million times before what’s the big deal? He didn’t bother trying to examine what it meant and just drove off. As Tommy drove his phone started to vibrate, luckily for him he was waiting at the traffic lights so he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check who it was, it was Adam.

A: Hey glitterbaby where r u? im getting bored :p  
T: im sittin in traffic ill be there soon babyboy!  
A: gd. Ill order food, pizza ok?  
T: of course :p

Tommy put his phone away and didn’t spear a minute when the light changed to drive off. In no time at all he’d arrived at Adams condo, knocking on the door Tommy could see adams figure swandering to the front door through the foggy glass.

“Hey there good looking” Adam said being flirtatious, but it was ok Tommy was use to this sort of behaviour from Adam, he was a confident being and in a way Tommy enjoyed the attention at times, especially when he’d had too much to drink. Tommy followed Adam into his kitchen and unpacked his beers into Adams fridge, the true meaning of “make yourself at home” Tommy indulged himself at Adams but he knew Adam didn’t mind. It was nice to be in a house that was bigger and different. He could only ever feel this comfortable around Adam anyone else and he’d be as shy as anything; it was cute and intriguing to others and a little awkward for Tommy. After unpacking his beers he walked into the living room to join Adam on the couch. “So hi there babyboy whatcha watching?” Tommy asked snuggling up to Adams side, this was normal for them, Tommy enjoyed the warmth and Adam relished in the fact that Tommy lived up to his nickname “prettykitty”... they were close ok it doesn’t mean anything. “Im watching the vampire diaries something you probably wouldn’t like because it’s not all blood and gore” Adam answered sarcastically. “Yeah what happened to the good old days like Dracula none of this sparkly shit and why are they always hooking up with those uptight human girls? It makes no sense!” Tommy rambled on about how vampires have been turned into twinkle toed fantasies dreamt up by some girly teenager; they’re basically everything they’d like their boyfriends to be and more. Adam listened to Tommy rambling on, he laughed at his opinions he thought they were so cute, he loved how Tommy would get so passionate about subjects people wouldn’t usually see as being relevant or important. Eventually after so much talking Adams show had finished and Tommy was champing at the bit to watch a horror movie something Adam wasn’t too keen on. He jumped up from the couch and dragged himself into the kitchen looking for two tubs of ice cream from the freezer, after rustling around he eventually found them and set them out on the counter whilst grabbing a couple of spoons and wandering back into the living room perching himself beside the smoking hot blond next to him (come on we can’t deny Tommy of any compliments the guys a frikkin god) “ here don’t say I’m not generous I don’t share ice cream with just anyone glitterbaby” Adam uttered quietly into Tommy’s ear giving him a typical Adam-fantastical pouty face “i suppose i should count myself lucky then babyboy?” Tommy replied with a low tone acting all flirtatious he loved teasing Adam, in a friendly way of course let’s not get ahead of ourselves. “shut up and eat ya ice cream kitty” he mumbled petting Tommy on the head as if he really was a cat. Tommy rolled his eyes and set about opening the lid to his ice cream and digging the tip of his spoon in scrapping only a very small amount onto the end before depositing it in his mouth, he licked the spoon before going back in and caught Adam staring at him in the corner of his eye.


	2. Chapter 2

. “Picture lasts longer yenno” Tommy says sarcastically. “I’ve um uh just never seen anyone lick the end of a spoon like that before, you really do have cat qualities” Adam replied giggling trying to sustain the blush that had broke out over his freckled cheeks “god damn Lambert could you restrain yourself a little? It’s not as if he’s the only hot straight guy you’ve ever hung out with you don’t need to be ogling him every 5 minutes” he thought to himself. “so uh Texas chainsaw alright? Hell you really don’t like horror movies i couldn’t find a damn single DVD in your collection so i found this on demand” Tommy exclaimed. “Yeah I suppose that’s fine only if you promise to hold my hand when it gets really scary else i might feel the need to pee” Adam said laughing in Tommy’s direction. Tommy’s eyes widened “wow you really are some sort of special man/girl diva aren’t ya?” there was nothing Adam could say to deny that what he had just said had sounded especially feminine... although it’s unlikely that a woman would ever announce that she felt the need to pee throughout a movie but you know what I mean! Finally the movie had started and adam could feel his body being pulled towards tommy, he was scared ok? He needed the comfort. Soon enough Tommy was wrapped up under adams side curling in, he was small and cute and fitted perfectly. Tommy could feel Adam pinching at the side of his hand at the gory scenes he winced a few times and squeezed his eyes shut for the duration of it, Tommy looked up at adam and shaked his head, although it was refreshing to see that even a man, especially Adam wasn’t afraid to show he had emotion, he didn’t care if people thought he was a “fag” Tommy hated that word it was so.. Disrespectful, it takes a real man to show his honest self, Adam was a real man. And so was tommy so they made the perfect friends they were on the same level just with opposite preferences. 

Towards the end of the night Tommy had fallen asleep and left a sloppy wet patch of saliva on the side of Adams shirt yuck! 

Adam gently tried to wake Tommy up and invited him to stay the night, he offered him the spare bedroom as he felt Tommy would be uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed but turns out he didn’t really mind. They were both certain of their sexuality so why the hell not? Girls do it why can’t boys? Plus it was nice for both of them to feel the warmth of someone else. Tommy slumped off the couch onto his feet, steadying himself from the haze of sleep that had consumed his body he carried himself up the stairs and Adam followed behind shortly. Adam went into the bathroom to wash his face and change into something a little more comfortable. Tommy stood at one side of the bed and shed the clothes from his body, he sighed in relief as he felt the comfort of feeling not so impact. He slid into Adams bed and pulled the sheets up around his shoulders, it was a little nippy. Adam waltzed in after climbing into the other side of the bed and pulling the sheets around him. “I’m so lucky to have a boss like you, you know... not many people get to be best friends with someone they work for” Tommy whispered over to Adam. “Aw is glitterbaby getting sentimental? That’s really cute of you to say such things” adam cooed and gave tommy a gentle peck to the forehead. They spoke for about 20 minutes and eventually they both fell asleep, tommy curled up to adams side in the night not really aware that its adams body hes snuggled up too. That morning half asleep adam turned over onto his side facing tommy, not being able to see properly through the sleepy haze that still lingered in his eyes he gently leaned in and kissed the blond beauty’s soft lips. Tommy moaned into the kiss and it didn’t take long for him to reciprocate, leaving butterfly kisses on each others lips tommy’s eyes gradually started to widen and when his vision stuck on the face of adam he jumped up from the bed “what the hell adam! What the fuck like seriously dude taking it one step to far!” tommy shouted panicking whilst trying to wipe the substance of adam from his tainted lips. adams eyes shot open in shock from what he was hearing feeling a little hurt that tommy was treating him like some germy peasant when he saw him wiping the resedue of himself from his lips. “hey whoah there i didn’t realise it was you i thought maybe i was still dreaming or it was someone else id never pass a move at you without your permission its just for stage you know that more importantly i know that!” adam said with a harsh tone in his voice with a hint of disappointment. Tommy couldn’t even look at adam at this point because in a way he knew adam was telling the truth and he was feeling rather pissed at himself and confused as to why he allowed it too happen, did he enjoy it? No no of course not hes straight. “damn it adam i cant do this i have to leave im sorry its just... im sorry ill text you in a couple of days i just need to straighten my head out” tommy grabbed his jeans that were hanging off of the side table next to the bed and quickly shoved them on scrambling to the front door. He heard adam running after him “please tommy don’t go... it was just a mistake its nothing to get upset over please baby don’t” adam sounding rather choked up it was obvious he was about to cry. He didn’t want to loose his best friend over something so silly, theyd kissed a thousand times on stage right? It was just a misunderstanding! “im sorry adam i have to go” tommy got into his car and drove off speeding through the streets trying to figure out why his brain felt to be so defensive about the kiss... he knew it was a mistake: he knew he was straight; so why was it bothering him so much?

When tommy arrived home he set his keys on the kitchen table and decided to hop in the shower. A sigh of relief left his lips as the water ran down his tense body rinsing away some of the stress from this morning. 

Adam had tried texting tommy but never got a reply. A sting in his gut brought tears to his eyes. He had always been rather fond of tommy and he didn’t want to loose him over something so worthless to throw their friendship away over.


	3. Chapter 3

Adam: baby im really sorry.. u kno it was just a silly misunderstanding pls can we just tlk about this? I dnt want to loose u!:(

Tommy opened up his phone to check his texts and saw adams name appear on his front screen. He felt guilty for not replying because hes not cold hearted people he does care! But right now talking about that was the last thing he wanted too do. Chances are he’d blow up at adam right now so he decided it might be a good idea for him to pop out for the night. His friend anna had invited him out to some underground club in the middle of Hollywood, hell it might be fun after the the night and day hes had he thought to himself so he sproosed himself up and got ready to leave.

Adam had been moping around all day not knowing what to do with himself the poor soul hadn’t left the couch all day pondering how he could possibly make things better. He received a text from Brad 

Brad: hey there baby! Fancy hangin out tonite? Found a new bar we cud try out was gonna invite a bunch of us to go?:);P  
Adam: hey brad, yeh that might be nice not had the best day. What time shall i meet u? And were?  
Brad: oh no baby tell me about it wen u get here yh? And meet me at my place for pre drinks at around 8?  
Adam: ok will be at urs for 8 and sure. But once ive had a drink don’t want to damper the mood or anythin  
Brad: oh sweetiepie. Im sorry ur havin a bad time we shall cheer u up tonite.. see u in a few!;)

Adam set his phone down on the side of his bed letting out a big sigh. Trying to brighten himself up a little for tonight he decided to do some yoga to relax himself. He had a beautiful garden and the sun was shining so it seemed like a really good idea. He could hear the birds tweeting in the trees, the rustling of gentle winds and the sound of the grass moving beneath him. Tranquility was definitely the word. Feeling a little better adam grabbed a shower and made himself look presentable. He’d fixed his hair up in his iconic style only a man like him could pull that hair off he was so lucky to have such beautiful locks. He applied some liner to his bottom lids, a little mascara and gave himself a pout in the mirror for good measure. “Fierce” he said to himself chuckling... at least he hasn’t lost the will to laugh a little.   
Tommy got a taxi to the place in Hollywood where he was meeting anna, she was a really great friend to tommy always so supportive and knows exactly how to cheer him up. He was always greatful of her friendship and treasured it well. “hiiii goodlooking don’t you look glam tonight!” she said to him chuckling a little. “Oh you charmer you” he replied pouting at her. She had a slender figure but she was curvy. Long blond hair that hung over her shoulders like silk and skin like porcelain it was picture perfect. Tommy had always found her attractive but she was too much of a good friend for him to take it any further with her. He put out his arm gesturing hers to link with his being the gentlemen he is, she took him by the arm and they headed inside. The music was loud and not to tommys usual taste but he could tolerate it. He headed over to the bar to get himself a beer and set his eyes on a beautiful woman standing beside him. She was slim, her breasts were perky definitely wasn’t lacking in that department. And had long curly brown locks that were lightly ombred at the bottoms. She turned her head and locked her eyes on tommy. 

She was definitely checking him out. “hi um can i buy you a drink?” tommy asked her politely. Hell he hadn’t asked that question to a girl in a long time so why not! “um yeah sure thing thanks” she replied rather surprised and flattered that he’d asked her. He smiled and ordered her a martini. “whats your name” he asked. “im josie, what about you?” she asked playfully clearly she’d already had a couple of drinks. “ im tommy, nice to meet you josie” he said flirtaciously “nice to meet you too” she smiled a wicked smile, her teeth were beautiful. Once they had their drinks they started talking about their lives and what they were into. “ so what do you do then tommy?” she asked seeming genuinely interested. “i play guitar for uh adam lambert” her eyes widened in shock “ oh my no fucking way!” she seemed pretty excited at that fact. He laughed “yeah sure do” he answered as a feeling in his heart started to swell when he remembered him and adam weren’t on best terms right now. “you don’t seem to happy?” she asked with a concerned tone. “oh its ok im fine. Just me and adam had a little fall out this morning, differences hey theyre a motherfucker” she laughed at his brashness “ oh im so sorry honey it cant be easy but im sure you’ll figure it out!” she was caring and had a warmth to her that attracted tommy deeply. “so tell me about yourself josie, what do you do?” he wanted to be just as interested in her as she was in him, he didn’t want to look like an arsehole afterall and he actually was interested. “im a zoologist i love animals” he was surprised that someone so beautiful was working in what wasn’t exactly glamerous but actually quite intellectually demanding he loved a clever woman. “wow thats really great, sounds like a lot of fun” she smiled and signalled him to the dancefloor, he wasn’t much of a dancer but she was worth the try. They made there way out onto the other side of the dance floor where it was more secluded. She pressed her back up against his front and they swayed to the rhythm of the beat she was clearly enjoying herself but unluckily for him she was grinding on an area that was dangerous for him. She enjoyed herself and funnily enough so did Tommy. When the song stopped she’d turned herself around to face him. She pecked him on the cheek as if to say thank you and giggled. He brushed his fingers along the outline of her jaw and gently pulled her in for a kiss. Her lips her plump and soft, she moaned into his mouth as he slid his tongue along the bottom of her lip asking for entry. He moved his hand round to the back of her neck whilst hers tangled between his blond locks, their tongues battling for dominance. When they had finished they pulled away flustered and panting it didn't help that the club was so fucking hot.

It was half way through the night and Adam had been at brads for about half an hour and finally they were all ready to leave to go to this place brad had snooped out for them. So far he’s had a bit of a laugh they played truth or dare and he’d already made out with brad. He was definitely feeling a little better after this morning. They jumped into the taxi and drove through the city lit up like a Christmas tree and soon arrived at their destination. It was a new swanky gay bar and Adam was surprised that brad had found out about it first. It was modern and funky adams sort of scene. He walked to the bar with brad to order a drink. After the first 4 or 5 drinks maybe 6 adam started to feel a warm sensation from within. And feeling rebellious he decided it was time to put himself out there. He’d found a cute twink over by the dj booth on the dancefloor and signalled him over before the boy knew adam had his lips attached to this guy in no time. Feeling bemused the boy looked at him and gave him a cheeky grin, he wrote his number on a piece of paper and handed it to adam asking him to call him if he was looking for some “fun”. Still not feeling fulfilled by that kiss, adam went off and hunted for someone else to flirt with. Sutan realising what was going on after the 4th man adam had latched onto he decided it was time to take some control over his good friend. “ adam sweetie don’t you think you should calm down a little?” sutan asked with a gentle tone not wanting to upset him. “ i uh no im fine totally fine lets get another drink im feeling to sober here” adam slurred his words swaying from side to side. Sutan looked at him a little shocked why was he so drunk? “Adam i think youve had plenty to drink yeah? Maybe we should get you some water and you can tell me whats bothering you” he patted adam on the back and guided him over to a private booth in the club. “honey whats wrong i can tell somethings up?” he looked at him with caring eyes. “oh i fell out with tommy but its no biggy i always fuck things up so why should this be any different it was gonna happen sooner or later” he started to sob a little. “oh addy don’t be so silly! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and think of ways to fix this. Its not gonna help when your trying to drown your sorrows by looking for other people to numb the pain” he leaned adam in close to him giving him a warm cuddle. “ i just wanted to have a good n-night tonight you know? Im so silly i should sort this out” he pulled his hands over his face out of embaressment of making such a mess of himself. “well we can worry about that tomorrow. But right now i want you to enjoy the rest of the night, but please don’t drink too much try to cut down else you'll find yourself with a nasty hangover in the morning sweetie!” he smiled and adam smiled back agreeing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so things get a little heated between tommy and ma girl josie! you have been warned:)

On the otherside of town tommy had had a pretty swell night, well as swell as it could be. He was still with josie and decided to invite her home with him. Saying goodbye to anna they got in the taxi and headed back to tommy’s. Both rather drunk they struggled into the house and stumbled onto the floor when they got in. Laughing at how stupid they look tommy wondered over to anna and started to kiss her. Their tongues intertwined lapping and he brushed his hands over her shoulders down to caress her breasts through her top. 

She moaned into his mouth and he pushed her top up and raised it over her head. he gradually moved round to the back of her bra unhooking it and throwing it to the floor. He cupped her breasts in his hands and started to kneed them gently at this point she was grinding into him panting into his mouth. He tore his lips away from hers and started to gently suckle on one of her nipples “oh tommy yes” she sighed. She started to unbuckle the belt to his jeans and pulling down the zipper. “wait” he stumbled to his feet pulling her up with him, he picked her up wrapping her legs around his waist and carried her to the bedroom. Throwing her on the bed he crawled up towards her pulling off her trousers. Trailing up her body towards her lips he gave her a gentle kiss and started to nibble at her neck. “tommy please touch me” he loved it when she begged him. He trailed his fingers down to around her nipples pinching and twisting one. “oh yeah oh my” she started panting. He carefully scooted down the bed whilst trying to take off his own trousers. He ran his finger down to her panties slowly caressing the outside rubbing up and down where her slit was covered, he could smell she was wet. “oh tommy fuck take them off fuck” he smiled and wasted no time in pulling off her panties. Just the sight of her glistening wet pussy infront of his eyes was enough to give him good hard wood. He ran his fingers up and down her slit massaging her clit, she was biting her lip trying to stifle the moans. “oh baby please eat me” he loved hearing her say that and quickly obliged to doing so. He started to kiss the inside of her thighs licking lightly at the crease. He poked out his tongue and glided it up down her slit and around her pussy lips. He started to suck on her clit and licking it lightly. She started to feel a tingling sensation from inside and started to whimper “oh god yeah fuck thats right right there don’t stop oh” she started pulling onto his hair harder. When he felt her starting to reach her high he circled a finger around her tight hole and plunged inside damn she was wet. Pushing it in and out at a fast pace whilst still sucking on her clit she moaned in ectasy as her orgasm swept over her. 

Her juices flowing around tommys fingers he slipped them out and moved his tongue lower lapping at her juices and plunging his tongue inside “oh fuck tommy what are you doing to me shit” he smirked and licked at her a few more times until she literally was trying to squirm away from him because she was feeling so sensitive. Her face hot and flustered she flew at him like a wild animal pulling at his boxer shorts trying to get them down “im gonna suck you so good baby, you so deserve it after that” she whispered seductively whilst slipping a hand around his cock starting to pump him slowly gradually picking up the pace “oh shit josie so good baby” he panted. She started to move lower positioning her mouth over his cock breathing hot air onto it. Pre cum was leaking from the top so she lowered down to lick at the slit swallowing it. She opened her mouth wider and slid the head into her mouth sucking on it whilst he pulled at her hair “take all my cock baby you can do it” she liked it when he talked dirty it was such a turn on. She took him all in her mouth swirling her tongue around the top as she lifted off and back down again. Going fast he had to stop her quick before he was about to cum in her mouth. “Fuck josie stop im gonna .. im gon’ oh” she smiled as she gently lifted off satisfied that she’d made him feel so good. “right fuck get down on that bed and let me fill that pretty little pussy of yours” he mumbled under his breath still feeling a little out of breath. “oh baby okay” she squealed as he flipped her over onto her back. He grabbed the condom off the side table and slowly slid it on “c’mon tommy baby im waiting” she winked at him biting her bottom lip. “you are such a fucking tease” adam was a tease too he thought to himself. Shit why was he thinking of adam in the middle of sex? Damn it Ratliff stop it that's just freaky weird. He answered her trying to not look distracted by his thoughts, pushing at her pink hole until he plunged deep inside her. “Oh fuck yeah you feel so good baby so big” she squirmed underneath him. “So fucking tight” he grunted, bending down to give her an open sloppy mouthed kiss.. Deepening it with tongues. She pushed her hips upwards meeting tommy’s thrusts as he slammed into her hot wet mound. He could feel her pussy contracting around his cock pulling it tight,this drove him crazy so he started to pound into hard and fast “oh tommy yeah fuck me harder baby yeah” she started screaming his name thrashing her head back on the pillows whilst twisting one hand in the sheets and the other running down tommys back and gripping onto his ass pushing him further inside her. “fuck josie im gon gonna cum uhh” his movements became erratic as he felt the surge of ecstasy run through his body “come on baby do it” they moaned in unison as their orgasms took control of their bodies. Tommy dropped down to the side of her panting glistening with sweat. “wow that was um amazing” she looked at him with a soft sweet smile. “Yeah, yeah it really was” he said satisfied and happy.. for now until his thoughts decide to invade him again, he flashed her a soft smile.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it so wouldn't be fair if adam didnt get a little action too..

Whilst all this was happening adam was getting busy with one of the pretty boys he’d met at the club he’d taken him back to his condo and they were currently making out on his balcony. 

Now it’s no secret that adam relishes in the enjoyment of being dominant with his lovers and this man was no exception. He’d remember how tommy loved having his hair pulled on stage and there were occasions off stage when they were fooling around. “damn it lambert tommy has nothing to do with this” he thought to himself... he broke away from the guy (well his name was josh) and continued to his bedroom grabbing his hand and guiding him the way. Stumbling through to his bedroom he grabbed hold of josh by the neck and dove in for a deep sloppy kiss, tongues curling together as their moans filled the room. Swiftly undoing josh’s buttons and pulling at the zipper to his jeans adam was successfully able to pull them off in one move. Taking his hand and cupping it under josh’s bulge he started to massage him gently whilst nipping and sucking the side of his neck. “Adam... oh” josh moaned into his ear. Josh reciprocated by fumbling with adam’s pants slowly pulling down his zipper as best as he could before tearing them from his body. Hooking a finger around the waist band of josh’s briefs adam slowly pushed them down brushing down the side of his legs before removing them completely, giving josh a few quick strokes and giving his cock a tease squeeze he got up and walked over to the bedside table opening it up to grab the lube, a condom and a pair of handcuffs and a cock ring. Josh’s eyes widened when he saw what was sitting in the palm of adams hand. He gave an audible swallow and his breathing started to quicken. “over here now baby come on” adam demanded his voice thick with lust and desperate want. “shit Adam what the... is that for me?” he swallowed again trying not to give away too much that he was nervous as fuck.

“Oh baby don’t look so scared! Im gonna take real good care of you, you’ll never forget this night i promise that much” adam looked him deep in the eyes a look of mischief and excitement sparking his inner animal. “fuck adam” the words that came out of adams mouth was enough to make the petite brown haired boy hard already. A little pre cum sat at the top of his slit begging to be licked away. “looks like someones already hard for me hey? I have to cuff you first baby” adam took josh’s hands and linked his hands with the cuffs and attached him to the headboard. He had enough room to move to feel comfortable but not enough too touch himself. Bending over josh adam blew on his slit and licked at the pre cum that hard formed at the top of his head. “mm fuck yeah adam” josh sighed in pleasure. Adams lips slid around the head of josh’s cock opening his mouth wider taking him in his mouth sucking hard around the head and then all the down until his cock hit the back of his throat. Picking up the pace adam sucked fast going soft and then hard... dancing him to the edge of ecstasy. Adam pulled away and josh’s face looked disappointed. 

He let out a whimper craving adams attention. “ah ah ah baby you didn’t think i was gonna let you cum that easily did you? Tut tut im gonna have to teach you a lesson in how to be patient aren’t i?” adams voice husky and low he gave josh a seductive smirk. “oh shit adam please” addy grabbed the cock ring sitting at the side of the bed and slid it over josh’s now semi hard cock, clearly his cock was upset that it had been teased. It looked red and angry craving the touch of adam. “fuck” josh panted as he felt it tightening around his cock as adam moved up his body once more to nip at josh’s nipples twisting and pulling them. Spreading josh’s thighs he left butterfly kisses up the inside and on the crease of the soft skin that laid there. “adam please touch me fuck!!” josh squirmed under the touch of adam. “naughty baby i say when i get to touch you” josh whimpered not sure if he could hold off for long. 

The teasing was driving his body insane and quite frankly his balls felt like they were about to explode from feeling so tight. Parting his ass cheeks Adam dove in and licked at his sensitive pink hole, blowing on it and then plunging his tongue inside. Josh’s hips bucked off the bed as the sensation took over his body “Adam oh fuck don’t stop please oh fuck” josh was panting and pleading, Adam loved this. “so pretty and pink baby, can’t wait to fuck you” Adam whispered licking his lips moistening them a little more. He dove in and lapped at josh’s hole a few more times before he stroked a finger over the sensitive flesh and gently pushing in. Plunging his finger in harder each time he decided to add another making josh’s hips rise off the bed. “Oh Adam fuck yeah that’s so good”. Kissing the side of josh’s thigh “you’re so tight mmm” Adam answered. Fucking josh with his fingers hitting his spot each time he eventually pulled his fingers out. Josh whimpered from the pressure around his cock the ring was causing and the lack of attention to his hole now it was driving him crazy. “Please Adam fuck me, let me cum i need to cum damn it!” he pleaded with Adam, trying to pull at the restraints that were holding his hands together. “now because you’ve been a good boy ill agree to undoing your restraints but you must keep the ring on just for a little longer baby i promise it’ll be worth it... the orgasm will be so intense you’ll see stars” Adam said giggling a little with a flirtatious tone.

"wonder if i could make tommy feel this way one day" he thought to himself. " NO damn it he's straight!" "wouldnt count on it" another piece of his mind said. Oh my word im going insane. He thought to himself. snapping back to reality before the boy catches him distracted

Letting josh free from the cuffs he tears the condom out of the foil packet and rolls it down his shaft moaning at the touch of his hands on his hard member. Lining the head of his member at josh’s entrance he slowly pushes himself inside the tight heat exhaling a shaky breath “oh my god you’re tight” Adam chokes as he takes a breath, remembering to breathe. Plunging deep inside josh hitting his prostate each time josh wails all sort of obscenities “oh fuck adam yeah, oh fuck me like that shit adam please” slowing down adam releases the cock ring around josh’s angry member josh lets out a sigh of relief. Pushing into him hard adam takes josh’s cock in his hand and pumps him hard and fast as he feels his own orgasm coming on. “oh adam baby yeah oh shit feels s-so g-good” josh’s body trembling beneath adams. “cum for me baby go on let yourself go” adam thrusts into josh harder still stroking his member. Josh lets out a shriek as his body is taken over by an orgasm so intense he swears hes about to black out. He’s never felt like this before. It was amazing and he certaintly was going to remember it. White fluid spewing out onto both their stomachs and some slashing the side of josh’s neck, adam rides out their orgasm and collapses next to josh, glistening in a sheen of sweat. “adam wow that was oh god that was amazing” josh still shaking convinced that if he stood up right now he’d fall over instantly. “i know” adam looked over at him smiling cheekily. Adam got up from the bed walking into the bathroom to clean himself up. Splashing water on his face, brushing his teeth and wiping any remains left that might make him feel uncomfortable to sleep in. Strolling back into his room josh was fast asleep in no time. Adam smiled knowing this was all because of him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy decides to man up and text Adam.

Tommy had been asleep for a couple of hours now, but something was nagging at the back of his head to wake up. He opened his eyes reaching sloppily for his phone on the bedside table. “shit” he grunted as it fell onto the floor. Carefully picking it up his eyes squinted at the light that projected off of his phone. “3:12 AM man, damn body thinks its alright to wake me up at these shit times” he mumbled to himself rolling his eyes. As he sat up he decided to go down stairs and make himself a hot beverage hoping that’ll help him to calm down enough to go back to sleep for a few more hours. As tommy sat at his table waiting for the kettle to boil, listening to the clock tick, he started to think about adam now that he had sobered up a little. He felt guilty for walking out on him like he did. It wasn’t adam’s fault and the truth is tommy sort of liked it. But he was to scared to even admit that to himself for now let alone anyone else, he’d wondered if adam enjoyed it too. He thought to text adam to apologise for ignoring him, for walking out. But it was late and maybe sorry wouldn’t be enough. Ignoring that side tommy decided to text him... it couldn’t hurt, at least it would show he cares. 

Tommy: hi, i um... im sorry for ignorin u i just needed some time to think i didn’t want to blow up at u as its not ur fault. If your free tomorrow maybe i cud ring u or we cud meet up to sort this out?:(  
Tommy put his phone away not expecting a reply and he was right. Adam didn’t reply that early morning. To be fair it was 20 past 3. He poored the boiling water into his cup and stirred continuously whilst pondering his next move. Being very late he had always lived by the motto “nothing good ever happens after 2 AM” he decided to obey those words and head on back to bed and attempt to catch some more sleep. Shortly tommy was indeed asleep.  
His lips were soft like velvet, his taste like cotton candy... his hair hung like silk, grabbing onto it as i licked my way into his pretty mouth. Our fingers intertwined as our mouths sung in a harmony of moans. Moving my hand lower i traced the outer lining of his nipple with my finger... the breathed heavily into my mouth, hot and needy. He started to grinde his hips up into mine, i let out a whimper as my member struggled to stay impact within the small space in my pants. The kissing became more erratic our tongues fought for dominance i felt the touch of his finger tips pulling at my waist band slipping his hands inside teasing me. 

Adam woke up panting, surrounded by a sheen of sweat that swept his body, he turned to his side to find josh had already left, leaving a note “hey had a great time last night, hit me up if u wanna do it again sometime;)” thank god he’d gone, he didn’t want to have to explain why he was moaning in his sleep and why he woke up so flustered. “shit what the fuck was that”trying to shake off the dream he’d just had. He looked down to find his body had other things in mind and were relenting on not letting him forget it. He hopped out of bed and made his way to the shower. Turning on the water he stepped in slipping under the shower head letting the cool water trickle down his body. Closing his eyes adam flashed back to images in his dream... he grabbed onto his cock slowly stroking it up and down thrusting faster as his mind flashed through like a picture book to what had happened in that crazy head of his whilst he was sleeping. The shower was steamy getting adam hotter he panted as he felt his orgasm hit him, spilling over his hand and inbetween his fingers. “i cant believe i just masturbated over tommy oh shit” adam squeezed his eyes shut “damn it!!” he tried to suppress what had just happened and cleaned himself off, washed his hair and body and jumped out of the shower running downstairs to make himself a coffee hoping it’ll liven him up a little. Forgetting he’d left his phone upstairs he ran up to get it, clambering back down he clicked it on to check his messages. “glitterbaby” popped up on the screen of his phone showing he’d sent a text. Adam swallowed opening it, feeling nervous as to what he might be about to read. “shit what if he knows about what i did in the shower” he put his head in his hands “oh shut up dipshit hows that even possible? He got a spy cam linked up has he?” nope didn’t think so. Snapping out of it his hand hovered over the message app before clicking onto it and onto tommys message.

Tommy: hi, i um... im sorry for ignorin u i just needed some time to think i didn’t want to blow up at u as its not ur fault. If your free tomorrow maybe i cud ring u or we cud meet up to sort this out?:(  
Adam let out a big sigh and rubbed his fingers over the message box thinking of how to reply. Should he meet tommy when he’s feeling so confused? Whilst he’s having these strange thoughts about tommy? It could be dangerous and he could loose tommy forever if he knew how he really felt. Adam replied...  
Adam: hey its ok i understand. Look im not feelin V well at the moment so maybe we shud do it another time. What about Saturday? Shud b better by then.   
Adam couldn’t stay mad at tommy. But he also couldn’t face him right now.  
Tommy’s phone binged, he quickly reached out to grab it sliding it across and entering his password. “babyboy” appeared on his messages and he took a deep breath before opening it Saturday? That’s four days away he thought to himself. Tommy felt an inkling of disappointment rousing deep punching his gut. Saturday was better than nothing so he couldn’t really complain.  
Tommy: yea sure man, hope u feel better soon. Sorry to hear u dnt feel well. Ill pop rwnd Saturday about 7?:)  
Adam: yea sure ok. See u then and thnks so do i 


	7. Chapter 7

Tommy smiled when he saw Adam wrote back with a smiley face, it might seem pathetic but it makes him feel Adam isn’t feeling so blunt with him after all. They could sort this out and put it behind him. Strangely Tommy was looking forward to seeing Adam. He’d always looked forward to seeing him but not like this. This is the first time he’s developed butterflies apart from the time he auditioned for Adam which was to be expected. This was different. A suppressed smile dared to curve at the corners of Tommy’s mouth. “Don’t be stupid Ratliff” he thought to himself.   
Adam, not wanting to show any evidence of something being up with him he replied being friendly. Putting his phone down he let out a frustrated sigh and decided to pop out, maybe a shopping trip would cheer him up? It was worth a try. A man can never have too many clothes you know. He rang up Danielle to see if she’d like to join him... he could do with a womans touch right about now.  
“hey adam sweetie whats up?!”  
“hi girl was wondering if you fancied going to the mall with me? Could do with some cheering up”  
“aww addy bear whats up? Hope its nothing to bad. Of course i would! Infact tell me whats up when we meet. I’ll be at yours in 20?”  
“oh its nothing too serious. Just me being silly i suppose, but yeah i’ll see you 20 then... look forward too it”  
“ nothings ever silly if its making you feel down hun, but we shall talk in a bit. Ill see you soon!”  
“see you soon”

Danielle had always been a good friend to adam, he could tell her anything she had a big heart and was one of the most loyal and supportive people he’d ever met... she was amazing. But he wasn’t sure whether he was ready to give a full statement about how he’s been feeling about tommy over the past couple of days. 20 minutes gone and maybe a little over a knock at the door rose adam to his feet guiding him to open it. “hey there good looking!” she smiled bringing him in for a hug. “hi dani you look nice” she smiled wide and bright “oh lambert you’ll make me blush stop it” she said tapping him on the arm. “ill grab my keys ill only be a minute” he said walking to the coffee table placed in the middle of his living room. Coming back to the front door they both headed out and climbed into adams car. Leaving the radio on adam sang along to a familiar song trying to channel some positive energy into his pittyful self. “you can sing?” Danielle said sarcastically playing with him. “oh how funny, i might need to pull over for a minute whilst i die of lack of oxygen from laughing” he replied giggling a little, he was a sarcastic bitch at times but hey it came with the territory. 

She laughed too shooting him a playful scowl. Pulling into the car park they both got out making their way to the mall. After looking around endless shops picking and choosing different garments of clothing they stopped to get something to eat. “hey so whats up?” Danielle asked with a soft tone. “oh its nothing really its just me being a silly sap” he replied trying not to appear to be to bothered by it. “oh c’mon lambert i know you better than that, i can see somethings bothering you so you might as well save us both the time of me having to extract it from you physically” she said laughing a little trying to cheer him up a little hoping he’d feel a little easier talking about it. “Well me and tommy we had a fall out and...” he hesitated. “and? Go on?” she asked. “Maybe I’ve taken this fall out a little harder than i thought. Tommy slept over one night and it was late and he was too tired to travel back home so i offered to let him stay at mine” he explained, but not fully. “oh hun why would you fall out over him staying over at yours? Was he drunk? You know he can be an arsehole when hes drunk” she replied a little resentfully. “no no not really. You see he stayed in my bed not like that just you know for comfort. And we might of woken up with our lips attatched to each other. And he freaked out and left. I felt so stupid. And sort of hurt?” his head dropped a little from embaressment. Danielle brushed her hand under his jaw lifting it “hey there don’t be silly you have nothing to be embaressed about. Surely he understands it was just a mistake? You probably both thought it was someone else or thought you were still asleep it happens” she gave him a soft smile, she felt sorry for him that he felt so bad about something so small. “Yeah it totally was a mistake! But you see... i had a dream about him last night. It was strange. I’ve never had a dream about him well not in a romantic way only like about the band and stuff if I’m extra stressed out about stuff and my heads still trying to figure it out whilst im still asleep. Its just like ever since that kiss” he reached up to brush his hair with his hand out of anxst. “oh adam sweetie. Have you ever thought he freaked out because he liked it? You should really talk to him! If its making you feel this way. If hes a true friend or whatever he might be he’ll understand and you’ll work through it. It might not be easy but its doable” she answered putting a hand on his back for comfort. “i suppose youre right. You always know what to say thank you, im so greatful to have such a wonderful person like you” he smiled at her showing affection and friendly love. She smiled back hugging him savouring the moment, she hated seeing him upset.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so tommy and adam meet again at his place but how will things go down this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will post next chapter maybe today or tomorrow :)

He’d arrived back home around 6 PM a little tired from all the drama he decided to make himself something to eat, grab a shower and watch a little TV.  
Tommy had been looking for things to occupy himself all day. He met up with brian to have a jamming session, playing his guitar was great therapy for him. “so dude tell me... whats going on?” brian asked. “oh man, me and adam had a little fall out, nothing epic but it wasn’t good” adam answered a dull tone dropped in his voice. “why what happened?” brians eyes a little concerned. “we had movie night and i stayed over because i was too tired to travel back to mine, we stayed in the same room woke up the next morning and next thing i know im latching on with him... by accident of course” he replied fiddling with the metallic paint that stuck to his nails, now scratched and flaking off. “oh man thats rough. Have you spoken to him since?” tommy let out a sigh “i ran out on him and he dropped me a text but i didn’t reply until much later on... i needed to clear my head im meant to be seeing him on Saturday to sort it out. I feel bad it wasn’t his fault” tommy said chewing his bottom lip in guilt. “you freaked out huh? Understandable” brian didn’t want to argue with tommy about the reasons why he’d freaked out he figured tommy would find out for himself eventually it wasn’t brians place to meddle with his thoughts. “damn im parched c’mon lets get something to drink” tommy suggested standing up adjusting his jeans.   
4 days had passed. It was Saturday and tommy had got up bright and early he decided to go for a run... he was feeling groggy from all the beer that had been sloshing about in his gut from the night before... and the night before that and... yeah you get the point. Pacing back tommy fell through his front door feeling a little knackered. He took himself off for a shower and a shave. He hadn’t shaved for nearly a week he looked like shit. Gussying himself he slumped onto his couch and fell asleep for an hour. His phone went off.  
Adam: hi... still on for tonight? Ill order pizza if u like?:)  
Tommy smiled, feeling a little more normal than before.  
Tommy: hey, yea sure dawg. Whateva u fancy im easy   
Adam: lol. Okay shall order when u get here. See u later.  
Tommy: see u then  
Tommy’s nerves again started to play up. “its only adam youve seen him a million times before you’re like best friends stop being a bitch” he mumbled to himself.  
Hours had passed and adam was staring at the clock it was 19:12PM. A knock at the door made him jump to his feet. Strolling to the front door trying to keep a cool manner adam opened the door. “um hey tommy come in” adam said managing a smile, an awkward one at that. “thanks... so how have you been?” tommy asked genuinely interested. “well you know had a couple of interviews this week just the usual” he replied calmly. “oh yea of course, must be knackered?” tommy said shifting himself silently onto a chair in the kitchen. “yea just a lil its worth it though. How about you? How have you been?” adam was fumbling around in the fridge pulling out a beer for tommy and pouring himself a wine. Tommy smiled when he saw the beer “he thought of me” he thought to himself. “uh yeah i been alright thanks, just been hangin with brian yenno” tommy caught the beer that slid across the table, capping the top sighing when he heard the fizz slip from the can. “thats cool! Should i order pizza now?” adam asked feeling he was running out of things to say without bringing up the obvious. Last week. He wasn’t ready yet he needed another drink first. Like they say “drunk minds speak sober hearts” and they were right... whoever they were that made that up. “um yea sure go ahead” tommy politely answered trying to be as nice as possible... he felt so guilty about running out on him still. It was quiet for a little while, adam sat an drank his martini and tommy chugged on his beer. The buzz was starting to slowly creep up on the both of them, a warmth in their bellies sparked an opportunity for them to talk now they were feeling more relaxed. “so um dude, maybe we can just like you know move on from what happened the other night?” tommy asked cautiously. Adam looked at him with questioning eyes, but decided not to argue with him and agreed to forget it. The side of tommy's lip slightly curved into a relieved smile. finally the pizza had arrived in time to break the silence that had dawned between them. Tommy was fucking starving but when the hell was he not? Lucky shit was so skinny even if he did eat the majority of fatty foods he could get his hands on. Feeling satisfied from eating now tommy decided to let go some of his angst and curled into adams side. It was so warm and comforting he could stay there forever. NOT IN THAT WAY. just as friends you know cos thats all tommy wants... a drunken haze had consumed them both, their eyes were a mask of hazy serenity and they were both feeling pretty damned good right now. they talked for a while about the band and the new schedule for a couple of concerts they had lined up. they talked about music and tommy's crazy ass obsession for horror movies and everything evil. He had told adam as a kid he was never given sufficient answers when he'd asked questions about it, it was pointless believing in something so impossibly unreal. adam ran his fingers through the silky soft strands of tommy's hair, much to adams surprise tommy literally did purr. "you really are a kitty in disguise" adam whispered giggling. "Hey man nothing wrong with enjoying it, if cats get treated like this everyday sign me up" tommy looked at adam with that playful little glimmer in his eyes. Adam lifted tommy joe's chin with the tip of his fingers "your impossible you know that" a look of pure admiration seeped in from the expression of adams face. Oh shit. They stared back at eachother for what seemed like hours, and finally they both leaned in and to adams surprise it was tommy who initiated the first kiss. he took adams bottom lip in his mouth and tugged at it little before swiping his tongue along the bottom asking for entrance. Adam obeyed and allowed tommy's tongue to slither into his mouth both tongues crashing with each other as tommy grabbed onto the back of adam's head tugging at his hair. before he knew it tommy was straddling adams lap as a frenzy of lust had consumed his body, adam was suckling on the side of tommys neck making him moan out a little before grinding his quite obvious erection into adams lap. Adam moved his hand down tommy's torso towards the zipper to his jeans. Undoing his zipper adam goes to caress tommy's wood from the outside of his underwear. Suddenly alarm bells ring off inside tommy's head and hes brought back down to earth and is stricken by what hes doing. "S-stop Adam p-please i'm sorry i.. i cant do this" tommy jumps up out of adam's lap quickly re dressing himself and scuttles for the door. "Tommy wait, what the fuck?! You can't just walk out on me like this! no way in hell are you gonna do that then think you can just walk out without speaking to me about it first hell fucking no!" adam shouted at tommy quite obviously pissed off. Tommy turned around on his toes, one hand on the door "Adam i.. i dont know what to say to you? Hell i dont even know what to say to myself. I'm so confused, you dont understand... I've never felt this way about a guy before and im not just saying that because of the drink... it scares me and i need some time alone, i'm sorry adam i just cant speak to you about this right now" without allowing adam to reply tommy turned and opened the door, quickly making his way to the first taxi he spots. He waves it in, and gets in the back without trying to make it obvious that hes crying. he gave the driver his address and soon he was to be home... alone, sad and feeling extremely confused. all of this was making him light headed. He staggered to his bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face, slumping down the side of his bath with his hands over his face trying to make sense of this fucked up situation. 

Adam was stunned by tommy's confession"never felt this way about a guy before" but what did that even mean? Did he love him? Like him? What the fuck? He deserved answers. this is the second time hes walked out on him and adam doesnt know what to do. He was tempted to take a taxi to Tommy's place but its probably not the best idea whilst hes still half cut, he could say something he'd regret in the morning so he decided to head off up to his room and try his best to catch some sleep before he decides to confront tommy at sometime tomorrow. sleeping for niether of them was going to be easy...


	9. Sink Like A Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Tommy’s head was spinning with endless thoughts about what had happened last night. He had no excuse for this time, even if he was drunk. He was starting to question his true intentions with adam. Adam was just a friend? Has been for such a long time? How come now he was starting to feel this way? Or had he felt this way for a while and just been better at ignoring it? He had so many questions and was unable to answer any of them. He didn’t know how he felt, it was new to him. As far as he knew he was just an average straight guy from California. Now he wasn’t so sure. But of course he wasn’t willing to admit to it out loud hed rather bottle it up, not healthy. He strolled into his kitchen to make himself something to drink, Coffee. Needing to cure himself from this dreaded hangover he has ontop of everything else, it wasn’t helping him to think clearly. After drinking his coffee instead of staring at the four walls that were holding him in he decided to take a walk, he needed time to think.  
Adam woke up and suddenly the memories of last night came flooding back. A tear rolled down the side of his pillowed cheek as the pain clenched at his heart strings. How could tommy do this to him? Humiliate him like that? If we wasn’t ok with it he should of said... not just walked out on him. He feels so stupid allowing it to go this far. He should of known better. Adam was blaming himself and soon wretched with guilt he decided to plan a night out to take his mind off of it. He couldn’t sit in all day and night dwelling on what had happened. He decided he’d sort it tomorrow, for now it was to premature.  
After tommy’s walk he decided to invite Brian and Isaac round for a couple of drinks still feeling like shit after last night, he needed a boys night. Both of them agreed to come over and now all tommy had to do was wait. And waiting isn’t good, too much time to think about things. So he stuck in his earphones and plugged into enter sandman.  
Hours past and finally there was a knock at tommy’s door.  
“hey man brought beer” brian tapped tommy on the back allowing himself in.  
“i brought the snacks” exclaimed Isaac.  
“cheers dude, just really need a good time right now” tommy answered with a disappointed tone in his voice.  
“why whats wrong dude?” brian asked concerned, he was always one to give good advice, and of course so was Isaac he’s been there and done that.  
There was no way in hell he could tell them exactly what had happened between him and adam so he plainly said “ oh just um... me and adam had a falling out thats all”  
“dude you guys are like a married couple” brian chuckled  
Married couple? The words echoed in tommy’s head. Married? Not like brothers? Or friends? But married? Maybe it is that obvious but tommy had been blind to see his true feelings, right now he’s still not willing to admit to anything. So he shrugged it off and pulled a fake laugh.  
As the night hit adam was getting ready to go out and let go of his troubles for the night, as he stood infront of his mirror sorting his hair, he started to feel a little better... he looked damned good. He was desperate to feel an inkling of happiness even if it was only temporary. He picked his phone up from the side and saw sutan had text to say he’s outside. Stepping out adam locked the door behind him and secured the gate to his home before making his way to the car.

Opening the door and climbing in he was pulled in to a warm embrace by sutan. “Hey there honey how’re you?” he smiled. “I’ve been better, but it’s nothing tonight can’t sort” Adam knew he was lying to himself. There was nothing that could sort this apart from Tommy himself. But who was he to drag on everyone else’s night? “Oh no what is it, please tell me love... is it tommy again? Please tell me you guys made up” sutan’s face dropped into an expression of concern for his dear friend. “well... i-i just don’t understand what he wants from me, he came over to sort things out the other night and it happened again except this time we weren’t sleeping... he kissed me and then panicked got up and left saying he was confused and stuff” adam was swallowing hard trying not to let it get to him as much as he knew it was deep down in his gut. “Oh adam im so sorry that happened. He obviously doesn’t know what he wants at the moment and it’s not healthy to string you along while he works it out. Maybe you should spend some time apart?” sutan placed a hand on adams shoulder for comfort. “You know maybe you’re right. Staying away from him will be the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do but getting mixed signals all the time is just as hurtful i suppose” adam rubbed the side of his head trying to make sense of what his next step will be, and it’ll be to try and spend some time away from the closet case (he was angry ok).


	10. Sink Like A Stone

A few drinks later... ok maybe half a dozen... maybe more. Tommy was starting to feel a little emotional and the guilt from leaving adam last night was creeping up on him. Staring at his phone he was debating to whether or not he should text Adam and ask if they could meet to give him a chance to try and explain... even though he wasn’t sure himself exactly what’s going on he owed adam an answer. Clicking onto adams name tommy rubbed his finger over the keypad thinking of what to say.  
Tommy: I know ur gonna be pissed with me nd u have every reason to be but i really feel like i should explain myself, i owe u tht much... is there anyway we can meet up nd tlk maybe tomorrow?:(  
Tommy felt as if he’d been waiting hours for a reply. He clicked his phone to see if anything had come up from adam and he had one message notification.  
Adam: i just don’t think i can put up with this rollercoaster ride atm, ur clearly confused nd need to sort out how u feel. I think its best we stay away from each other right now. Im sorry  
A sudden feeling of nausea clung to Tommy’s stomach... he couldn’t loose Adam. A sheen of sweat rose from Tommy’s head as he panicked. He had never felt this hurt by someone before. He clung to his chest as he felt an aching sensation tighten around his heart... maybe he really did love Adam. But what could he do? Adam doesn’t want to talk to him.  
Adam was buried between the shed of bodies on the dance floor with sutan and the others trying his best to have a good time. Adam carefully monitored his drink this time knowing he was vulnerable to making himself look like a fool. He’d met a couple of new people and some pretty ones at that. But his heart was refusing for him to make a move... they weren’t Tommy. His brain was telling him he needed a distraction and maybe this would be a good way to go about it. But he knew he was tipsy and should probably wait till a better time to make a decision like that. As he made his way back to the booth they had been sitting in adam felt his cell vibrate in his pocket.  
Tommy: I know ur gonna be pissed with me nd u have every reason to be but i really feel like i should explain myself, i owe u tht much... is there anyway we can meet up nd tlk maybe tomorrow?:(  
Adams heart felt as if it was in his mouth when he read the text. He’d love nothing more then to allow tommy to explain himself so they could move on. But seeing as this is the second time he’s done it he doesn’t want to take the risk of it happening again. He needed time to build himself together again and tommy needed to work out what he wanted. As hard as it was adam text him back telling him he thought it was best they spent some time apart. It took all the strength adam had to send that text and apart of him wishes he could erase it and re write it again. But this was the right thing to do.   
A few hours later tommy found himself out of his home and in some seedy night club in the middle of the city. Josie had text to ask if he’d like to meet up. What the hell why not he could use a distraction right now. He walked to the entrance to meet her. She looked just as beautiful as she was the last time he saw her. But for some reason the attraction wasn’t the same, she was clearly attractive but he was admiring her rather than feeling a burning rage to fuck her. It wasn’t the same as last time what was happening? Maybe he just wasn’t in the mood after all the drama. Tommy continued to drink by the gallon as him and josie got stuck into conversation before he found himself locked away in a cubicle with her as shes trying to tug at buttons on his jeans. He skimmed his hand up around the skin of her soft thigh’s and ran them up to the top of the insides. Slowly he caressed the outer lips of her hot mound before plunging a finger into her pussy. Needing to prove a point to himself that he still found women attractive he felt he needed to do this, but not only for that but for the contact, the comfort. He just needed some sort of love right now even if it wasn’t the ideal situation. He curled his fingers up inside her massaging her g spot before rubbing her clit with the tip of his thumb. She moaned softly in his ear as she pulled his pants apart and pushed them down around his thighs. To her surprise he wasn’t particular hard. This didn’t concern her as she knew he was pretty drunk as it was and the alcohol had probably slowed things down a little, pulling his now wet fingers from her incredibly moist mound she crouched down onto her knees and took his cock in her mouth sucking at the head. Tommy’s balance wasn’t the best but he tried his best to stay standing. The blowjob was good, any blowjob feels good. But something wasn’t missing... there was no excitement in it; it was average if not less.  
Tommy cut things a little short, turned her around and plunged into her deep making her cry out his name. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to cum but he didn’t want to embaress her by rejecting to fuck her. But he felt dirty. He explained to her he was tired and way to over drunk to finish off so they cleaned up and left the bathroom. Needing to leave tommy escorted josie to her taxi and hopped in one himself to take him home. When he got back he grabbed a cold shower to wash away the filth he felt he was covered in. He got into bed and started to sob. All he really wanted right now was the warm comfort from adam wrapping his arms around him telling him everything was going to be okay. Tommy was half tempted to rock up at adams house and shout his name from the roof tops demanding he speak to him until adam finally gave in. But he knew that wasn’t the way to go about it. Needing to sleep off the drunken state he was currently laying in tommy shut his eyes and eventually drifted off.


	11. Just one yesterday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the really late update I will upload the rest that belongs to this part of the story either later on today or tomorrow :) enjoy!

If heavens grief bring hells rain   
Then I'd trade all my tomorrow's for just one yesterday  
I know I'm bad news  
I saved it all for you  
I want to teach you a lesson in the worse kind of way  
Still is trade all my tomorrow's for just one yesterday- fall out boy

 

Tommy wishes he could go back and erase the horrible situation he'd put him and Adams friendship in. For a split second he'd forgotten all about what had happened and for one minute he felt like normal. But then the memory of them falling out came crashing back like waves hitting the rocks, only it was his emotions slamming into his heart. He'd kissed Adam on stage before what was the big fucking deal? Tommy had always been known for being over anxious, thinking everything through too much but with Adam it should be easy. Adam was his best mate, his other half... His soul mate. His intentions were never to hurt Adam the way he had and now he didn't even wanna speak to him and this was a first. Adam was stubborn and if he didn't want to do something there was no changing his mind. Tommy sat at the table and listened to the silence that filled the room pulling him into a depressive mood. 

"C'mon ratliff there must be something we can do about this!! This isn't some guy you know from a bar, it's Adam! Your friend, your boss the guy who gave you a new lease of life. It wouldn't be completely irrational to suggest that you kissed him because you do in fact have feelings for him" tommy had a long think to himself. Whether or not he should turn up at Adams facing him was the least of his worries... Fucking up all over again for a third time was the big problem. Tommy knows Adam would never do anything that tommy felt uncomfortable with. And maybe it was time the fucker manned up. 

Tommy came up with a solution. He was going to write a letter to Adam and put it through his letterbox. This way Adam wouldn't be able to turn him away and could read it in his own time. It would also give tommy the chance to write down things he might of forgotten to say in person. Tommy rummaged through the draws looking for a price of paper that wasn't creased and a pen that actually worked, he was unorganised with stuff like that... Never kept it in one place but hey he's a libra it's acceptable they're naturally untidy. He went and sat at the table in his kitchen putting the tip of the pen in his mouth biting down as he anxiously awaited his brain to direct his feelings onto the piece of paper. 

"Adam I hope you can find it in your heart to read this letter. This is completely out of character for me but I didn't want to risk upsetting you again by coming to see you directly so I wanted to give you the chance to read this when you were ready. I can't apologise enough for the way that I had treated you not only once but twice. I had never wanted to hurt you in that way, my behaviour was totally irrational and childish. I'm a coward for leaving no real man would of run off like that. You have to know it wasn't because I didn't want to kiss you. Believe me I really wanted to kiss you. My confusion is not an excuse I should of stayed and had it out with you in a calm manner and who knows maybe there would be no confusion at all. I'm just scared Adam, you're my best friend, my partner... There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you have to believe that. I'm putting my heart on the line here I am learning to become more susceptible to my emotions and to stop putting them away I have realised its selfish and unfair to make you play the guessing game. I have given it a lot of thought and I want to say I think I like you Adam. More than just a friend, but I need time to adjust to it, I understand if you wouldn't want me, or us. All I want is for you to be happy babyboy.

Your pretty kitty tommy x

Tears dropped onto the paper, the moisture spreading a little over the ink before sitting in one spot. Tommy tried his best to wipe the salty liquid away to prevent the smudging of his writing. He really hopes Adam will be able to understand and forgive him... Tommy didn't feel he deserved another chance, but he sure as hell knew if he was given one he'd never fuck it up again. 

Getting in the shower tommy used that time to try and relax himself a little. All this angst was making him feel a little sick. He let the warm water run over his body washing away the stale smell of alcohol and still trying to scrub off the resonance of the one night stand, flashbacks entered his mind and he frowned at the picture that popped into his memory. It wasn't his proudest moment. Shutting the water off tommy sauntered into his bedroom to pick out clothes to drive to Adams, he knew Adam would be out for the day at interviews. It didn't matter what he wore, he wasn't going to see anyone. Tommys stubble appeared more vividly as the days went by, he hadn't bothered to shave for a while... He didn't have a reason too. He popped on some loose fitted jeans and an old t shirt he found hanging in the back of his wardrobe. He makes his way to the car, checks his rear view mirror and puts his foot down, directing towards Adams. 20 minutes later after a couple of interrupted stops from traffic jams tommy pulls up outside Adams. Clutching the steering wheel he takes a couple of deep breathes before edging himself out of the seat reaching across to grab the letter. He stops before wandering to far up the drive just to check Adams car wasn't there and he was right. An aching sensation in Tommys gut became more evident as he stepped closer towards the door, he never thought he'd be going to Adams like this... Without seeing him. He slips the note threw the letter box. A saddened look rises from the creases of Tommys eyes and mouth. "I'm sorry Adam I hope you forgive me" he whispers to himself. Forcing himself to turn around and head back to the car tommy felt the urge to stay until Adam got back, but he knew he should stick to the first plan for now. 

Tommy headed back to his arranging plans on the way with brian and Isaac for later this evening. 

Adam had been resisting the urge to text tommy all day, part of him wanted to tell him to forget all about it and to just let them move on and start again. But Adam knew he couldn't do that if it happened again he's not sure he could cope. He spent the morning doing some yoga in the back yard to try and clear his mind and body of some of the tension simmering beneath his bones. His eyes were swalleon from the night before from the copious amounts of alcohol and uncontrollable crying he'd done when he'd got home. 

The interviews dragged on and Adam could tell he wasn't putting across his best mood for the lime light but he didn't care. He'd rather have tommy and live in a tin shack in the middle of nowhere then put up with the endless amount of fame and money, you can't put a price on love. 

"I was perfectly fucking fine with keeping my feelings at a distance from myself and ratliff before he went and fucked it all up" he spat to himself. Feeling resentful and guilty at the same time Adam needed to find a release. He hadn't been out this many times in one week for a while... Well just to get hammered anyway. He turned up the volume on his car stereo and tried to block out any thoughts just for now, he needed a break. Eager to get away from everything Adam hurried out of his car to the front door and went inside. He felt something stuck to his shoe and raised his foot to peel it off. "It's probably mom telling me shed been shopping for my groceries and that she'll see me at the end of the week" with that thought in mind Adam popped the piece of paper in the cupboard and headed on upstairs. Phone buzzing Adam picked it up to see a message from brad giving him details about the night ahead. With that in mind Adam headed to the shower. Standing under the water Adam closed his eyes only to be bombarded by the images of what could of happened on both of those nights if only tommy didn't behave as if he had a pussy. Images of Tommys naked body spread out in front of him covered in a sheen of sweat awoke Adams cock. "Fuck sakes stop fucking thinking of him" Adam slammed his fist against the tiled wall beside him trying to forget about it, It was no use. Adams mind wondered to the thought of his hands stroking Tommys cock while tommy moaned out softly saying his name. Adam tried to fight the urge but he could feel his cock throbbing and it would only cause an issue for later on. He grabbed hold of his hard member and started to stroke himself. Soft moans spilled from his mouth as he imagined puttin his lips around the pretty blondes head licking at the leaking slit. He stroked faster his breathing elevating until he felt the warm spurs of liquid seeping from his cock. Allowing himself to catch his breath Adam washed himself off got out of the shower and headed into his wardrobe. Picking out a leather jacket, a pair of faded grey/black jeans with small rips in and a tight black top he walked over to his dresser to look in the mirror. A small tear spilled over his flushed cheeks, he felt so alone without tommy and it seemed the longer he spent away from him the worse he felt. Standing in silence contemplating his next move Adam starts to style his hair and put his jacket on. "You know what ratliff you can't fuck with me!" He said to himself, urging himself on to go out and forget about his straight faking ass. 

Tommy arrives at blackjacks with the others and heads inside. Heading straight for the bar tommy orders himself a scotch whiskey, he needed something strong to help lead him into a forgetful daze. He watched as brian moved onto the dance floor and laughed as he watched him and the others have fun. It was nice that Ashley had turned up too, along with sutan and keisha. A few glasses of scotch later and some half cut conversation tommy steps up too head to the toilet before a raven styled type hair caught a glimpse at the side of his eye. "No" he thought to himself rubbing is eyes. "I am way too drunk and fucked up now I'm imagining him here" he shook his head but to his amazement he saw the long slandered person walk over to others to greet them warmly. Tommys stomach did all sorts of flips, he became dizzy and overwhelmed with nausea. Maybe Adam had read his letter and asked the guys where they were to come and see him. Tommys stomach filled with an inkling of hope and he wandered over to where the others were gathered around the table. As he approached them he saw Adam glare at him in a shocked expression "maybe he didn't know I was here after all" a scowled look from Adams face hit tommy straight in the heart. "What the fuck even after I poured my heart out to him in that letter he still doesn't want to speak to me? I know I said he didn't have to but this isn't like him" tommy sat down next to the others and extracted his hawk eyes onto Adams place on the dance floor. Adams body swayed to the rythm of the beat and tommy couldn't help but think to himself how beautiful Adam really was. And what an opportunity he had wasted. Half hour later Tommys eyes were still transfixed on Adam and he could see clearly Adam was limbering up a little and wondered if this would be the perfect opportunity to say something. Lifting his self up from the seat he wandered over making his way through the ocean of bodies before standing directly across from Adam. And the sight he saw before him wrenched out his heart and knocked all the air out of his lungs. Adam was kissing someone else.


	12. Give me all of you

Tommys body stiffened as he witnessed the twink trying to eat Adam alive. Sutan saw tommy staring and went over to lend him a shoulder to cry on "oh honey really? I'm so sorry" sutan patted Tommys back softly trying to calm him down. Tommy felt the bile generating in his throat and tears started to flush his eyes. In a blind rage of anger tommy walks up to them and shoves the twink off of him before lunching him in the face sending him to the floor. He turned to Adam "you selfish, inconsiderate motherfucking manwhore!" Tommy roared in Adams face. Adams eyes widened in shock before he took tommy by the collar and dragged him outside the club, tommy tried hard to fight him off but Adam was undeniably a lot bigger and a lot stronger. "What the fuck are you going in about tommy? What the fuck was that?" Adam spat at him. "Oh don't play dumb with me drama queen, gotcha filthy hands all over that twink, I bet ya riddled with all sorts! You do this on a regular bases?" Tommy obviously hurt but tried to shoot him a smug grin. "Adams jaw clenched before he grabbed hold of him. "LISTEN HERE THOMAS, I don't know who the fuck you think you are coming to me and behaving in that manner but you do not fucking talk to me like that. YOU left me looking like an asshole. And why is it ANY of your business anyway? ITS NOT" Adams nose was a cm away from Tommys at this point. Now this wasn't going to be Tommys smartest move but before he could think his fist had connected to Adams face causing Adam to sway off his feet a little. The others headed outside finding themselves caught up in the drama trying to separate the two. "DONT PRETEND LIKE YOU DINT KNOW FUCKER, I poured my fucking heart and soul out into that letter you ungrateful bastard, I understand you were angry with me but I NEVER thought you'd do that to me. Tommy instantly regretted hitting Adam. But he was so hurt and felt let down by the one person he thought would never shit on him. Next thing he knows Adams shoving him back "W-what letter tommy? What shit are you talking about?" Adam held onto the side of his face as it throbbed. "I came to yours this afternoon and put a letter through your door because I knew you didn't want to see me so I thought I'd communicate with you via that letter explaining my feelings! Tommy started to cry and there was no way to stop it. Adam flashed back to earlier when he'd picked up that piece of paper. "Shit" he muttered. He felt terrible now. But still tommy was an ass and maybe now he knows how it feels! Adam tried to justify his actions. 

Adam took hold of Tommys hand pulling him roughly over to the car "get the fuck in" he coldly said. "I'm not going anywhere with you fucker" tommy replied folding his arms. "Tommy I am not having this conversation with you in front of all these people it'll be all over the press tomorrow now get the fuck in" Adam grabbed tommy and basically threw him into the back seat before getting in himself.

The ride to Adams was quiet. Both we're starting to feel the real affects of the alcohol taking its toll. Passing the bright city lights into the secluded neighbourhood up in the hills they swiftly left the car as it parked up next to Adams. Still holding onto Tommys wrists Adam used his other hand to unlock the door and shoved him in. "I didn't know you'd written me a letter tommy, I thought it was from my mom so I didn't bother reading it, but you know you wouldn't of had to write a letter if you weren't such a bitch in the first place!" Adams cheeks were flushed with anger as he yelled at the small blonde. "Oh here we go lambert always has an excuse, yes I walked out on you and YES it was wrong but at least I'm trying to fucking fix it! Maybe if you weren't such a big sparkling idiot that makes my head feel fuzzy every time I'm near him because your presence is so overpowering and intense I wouldn't of left like that!" Tommy stepped closer to Adam panting from all this ranting. "So your telling me you left me standing there like a complete fool because you find me intimidating? WOW have your bollocks even dropped yet? Cos you are behaving like a big fat pussy" he spat. "Says the gay, at least I don't go putting balls in my mouth fucker!" Tommy retaliated, Adam knew he wasn't homophobic but maybe that comment could come across a little hurtful. "And whys that tommyjoe? It's not because you don't want to is it? It's because you haven't had the chance,your too scared to admit you might like it kitty kat" Adam got closer to tommy whispering the words in Tommys ears. Tommy hated to admit it but he was right. And right now Adam was sending shivers down his neck and a bolt straight to his dick just thinking about it. "Oh yeah and what makes you think that lambert? What makes your dick so special? U gonna pop open ya jeans and I'll find a bunch of daffodils?" Tommy smirked but his expression soon rendered serious. His nose was gracing Adams and before he knew it he had him lip locked. Both faces flushed Tommys hands were all up in Tommys hair pulling and scrabbling trying to get as much body contact as possible. Tongues sliding apart for a minute "I hate you fucker" tommy panted as Adam kissed and licked his way down Tommys neck. "You'll love me once my hands around your dick pretty" Adam cockily replied. Adam took hold of Tommys t shirt and pulled it off as they stumbled back into Adams table. Running his hands up sides he took hold of one of Tommys nipple between his fingers and pinched it slightly before bending down to lick at it. Tommys eyes rolled back ever so slightly, Adams mouth really was talented and if he could turn him to jelly by dointhat imagine what a mouth around his dick would feel like. Adam palmed tommy through the fabric of his jeans rubbing what he could feel of Tommys length. Tommys cock was hard and aching, screaming for release. Adam looked up at tommy and rose to his feet. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist" Adam smiled in Tommys direction before heading off upstairs "hey come back down here and finish what you started diva boy, I got blue balls" tommy shouted up. Suddenly Adam was at the bottom of the stairs again "what makes you think you deserve it? Go on beg for it tommy" tommy groaned, his sensation for want aching at his loins he just wanted this motherfucker to suck his dick. "Because Im inlove with you Adam". Adams face was a picture. He blinked rapidly "what?" Was all he managed to squeeze out.


	13. Your my end and my beginning

"Y-you w-what?" Adams eyes were wide with uncertainty and shock "did you just say what I think you said" he muttered under his breath. "Yeah um... Sorry not a good time to drop the L bomb huh?" Tommys voice was quiet, a nervous tone echoes in the background of his voice. "The hell it's not a good time! The fuck tommy how do I know your not just saying that because you've decided finally you're ready to try me out in the bedroom department?" Adams voice was laced with insecurity at this point, because it was obvious Adam loved tommy it was hard to believe the one person he wants more in the world that has caused him a week of misery wants him too. "I... Adam it's-" "DONT tommy I know you don't mean it don't break my heart any more than you already have" Adam cut in. "Will you shut the fuck up a minute! Listen... I have had a shit time too recently, I've been racked with guilt and confusion... I'm hurting too. I know what I did was a terrible thing to do but Adam I ran away BECAUSE I love you, I just needed time to make sure I was right before I jumped in head first, I've never looked at another man in that way... Not in the way I see you" tommy brushed his hand against Adams shoulder, he's not going to run this time. And he'll do anything he can to make Adam see that. "How the hell am I meant to believe that's true tommy, i just can't see how this makes any sense how could YOU love me? In that way? The only guy you feel that way about does that mean your only gay for me? What if you go off of me and decide you are straight after all..." Adams voice sounded hurt as he came to that realisation. It wasn't a path he wanted to go down. "Adam I've found guys attractive just I haven't ever loved any of them or liked anyone enough to sacrifice myself too" Tommys eyes were serious, the most serious Adam has seen them in a long while. "I just don't know tommy" Adam wanted tommy desperately there was nothing he wanted more but if he goes down this path he knows if tommy changed his mind it would destroy him. Tommy is like Adams heroine, he's toxic and could destroy him in one shot. 

Tommy got closer to Adam "oh fuck this" next thing he knows he's crashing his lips onto Adams licking at the seem of his bottom lip trying to invite himself into Adams mouth. Hesitant silence fills the room till Adam allows him, falling into tommy's mouth. The kiss isn't rough or predatory it's full of love and emotion from them both, it's different and neither of them have been kissed so tenderly before. Pulling away tommy pants a little "I-I want you Adam, make love to me let me show you I love you, I want too surrender myself to you... And not just for tonight" Tommys voice was shaken with emotion a tear fell from the arch of adams eye. He couldn't believe he was hearing this and seeing tommy give himself so easily to Adam in such a desperate and loving way was too much for him to turn away. "Tommyjoe you're going to kill me" Adam looks at him with a glint of sadness... He doesn't want tommy to regret it. "Please baby boy I want this I promise I'll stay forever" tommy grabbed hold of Adam with both hands wrapping his arms around the back of his neck staring into his eyes with a look of awe. For the first time it feels right to be in this situation. 

Tommys nose brushes the side of Adams neck before he's lifted into a passionate kiss, this time it was more hot and needy. They both needed this and they wanted to be as close to each other as possible. All this bottled up emotion was being reflected in their actions. Tommy moaned as Adam pulled at his hair deepening the kiss, tongues lacing together. Tommys hands roamed all over Adams body: up his shoulders; over the curve of his arse; his silky hair. Coming up for air, both their cheeks are flustered and their lips red and swollen. "Heck tommy you better be sure you want this" Adam was trying to study Tommys facial expression for any doubt. "Shut up fucker, take me upstairs and go all sentimental on my virgin ass, I want nothing but old school romancing I ain't no whore" tommy smirked trying to lighten Adams mood a little. "You really are a very strange little man kitty" Adam giggled a little... He liked this side of tommy because it was well... Tommy, it felt normal. Grasping Tommys hand he was led upstairs towards the bedroom. Adams bed was big enough to have a party on, irony is tommy may be small but he's sure he'd have no troubles claiming ¾'s of it! Kissing again Adam helps tommy lift his shirt up over his head before doing the same with his own. Hands fumbling at Tommys belt and his own they are finally loose enough to pull off until they are both just in boxers. " Bed now tommy" Adam demanded. "You going all dom on me now" tommy smiles getting up onto the bed and splaying himself out. "This is the only time I'll go a little gentle on you seeing as you are the girl in this situation... Not that you deserve it with your sarcy ways" Adam smiles. "Heyyyy I'm not a girl I have a beard shithead!" Tommy whined. Adam rolled his eyes before getting onto the bed himself and hovering above Tommys slender self. Leaning in ever so slowly adam can't help but notice how beautiful Tommys eyes really are, such an unusual deep brown it was breath taking. Adam kisses the top of Tommys head, his nose and then finally his mouth, tommy opens up for him and their tongues are intertwined. Adam strokes the side of Tommys hips before bringing them up to pinch one of Tommys nipples. "Uhh" tommy lets out a small whimper. "You like that baby?" Adam moves himself away from Tommys lips to put his own around the nub of Tommys nipple. Swirling his tongue and biting ever so slightly he can feel Tommys erection becoming more prominent brushing against the top of his thigh. This made his own cock ache with so much want. This is all he's ever wanted. Moving his other hand lower he starts to palm Tommys erection through the thin fabric of his boxers. "Nnggh" tommy lets out a small moany grunt. Adam smiles before kissing tommy on the mouth whilst hooking his fingers on the inside of Tommys waist band pulling his boxers down slowly. Tommys erection stands hard and bounces against his belly, Adam grasps it in his hand "you're so beautiful tommy" he says starting to slowly stroke Tommys cock, Tommys lips are slightly open and he's panting softly "fuck Adam your hands" he starts thrusting up into Adams grip. Adam smiles licking his lips, Tommys pre cum glistens from the head and he can't help but bend down and tongue the little bit of liquid into his mouth tasting tommy so intimately, Adam thought he could cum on this taste alone. Adam took tommy in his mouth and started to suck until his cock was hitting the back of his throat, saliva from Adams mouth kept up a strong suction as he continued to swallow tommy down his throat humming around him. "Fuck Adam, you suck me so good with that pretty mouth of yours oh fuck yes" Tommys hands tightened around the silky locks of Adams hair pushing him further onto his dick. Adam pulls away and stands up "I'm going to make you cum on my cock alone nothing else do you understand?" His voice hoarse. Tommy swallowed hard he's not sure he could do that, but the challenge set a fire in his belly and a desire in his eyes "I'd like to see you try" he whispered. Adam straddled tommy on the bed pushing his legs wider to gain better access. Tommys face looked beautiful flustered, "god tommy you are so hot all spread out and wanting like this" he parted Tommys cheeks before hoisting himself down a little to lick art Tommys tight pretty little hole, Tommys hips bucked at the sensation he'd never experienced before "Adam oh fuck what the" Addams tongue swirled around the pink flesh before pushing at his hole before entering, tongue fucking tommy like there was no tomorrow. Tommy was a blubbering, whimpering mess his moans made Adam want to cum so hard. Now tommy was relaxed a little Adam took one of his fingers put a little lube on and slowly pressed against the hole before entering going gently until he was knuckles deep. Tommys face was a little tense at first but he soon started to enjoy it "you like fucking my fingers baby yeah?" Adam picked up his pace a little adding a second finger. " I-I want you inside me right now fucker come on" tommy pushed fucking himself down on Adams fingers, his hips twisting and trying to get as deep as possible, he cried out as Adam stroked his prostate "Adam fuuuck please!!" Pulling his fingers out he continued to lube up his own cock giving it a few strokes to release some of the ache before lining up at Tommys tight pretty hole before plunging in "Adam yeah please more" he cried out thrusting his hips up to meet Adams movements. "Oh my god tommy you are so fucking tight baby it's so good" Adams face was a look of pure ecstasy and his skin was tainted with a glistening shade of pink, finally to tommy everything felt right, Adam was beautiful and how could he of wanted to miss out on a love like this? "Adam fuck me hard please your so beautiful just wanna feel all of you inside me" tommy whined. Adam smiled in awe of tommy as he quickened the pace giving quick shallow fucks before they both cried out as their orgasms consumed their bodies crashing like waves, Tommys vision went white as he felt his cum seep out between his and Adams stomachs, " oh my fucking god tommy oh fuck" Adam cried just before his orgasm started to subside. 

"That was amazing kitty" Adam lied back on the bed panting trying to catch his breath as tommy snuggled up close for a second, "I know right fuck what was that lambert, are you like some secret porn star or something? Cos like I'd totally be alright with that if you were, shit" Tommys sarcastic side Adam had missed. He giggled "tommyjoe i am not a pornstar! Just a sex god" they both laughed before sharing a tender kiss. "So like what happens now? You gonna wine and dine me, sweep me off my feet or some shit, I'm not a cheap date by the way I expect the whole Shabam like fuck loads of tacos and beer" he smiled at Adam. "And you say your not a cheap date but you want tacos and beer? Oh honey were gonna have to take you somewhere a little up market aren't we?" He answered wandering into the bathroom. "So it's a date?" Tommy shouted back. Adams phone buzzed off the side. 

Josh: hey baby how's my sxc piece of ass;)? Really enjoyed our last hook up still on 4 this wkend?

Tommys heart tightened, and the anger swelled in his throat... He knows this was probably before they decided to do this, and it was probably whilst tommy was being an asshole. But he couldn't help himself but blow up over it. After all he had just lost his virginity to the guy.

"Who the motherfucking fuck is josh lambert?!" Maybe Tommys more possessive than he thought he was... Nothing like this has ever bothered him before but suddenly it really fucking does and he wants to text back telling him to fuck off... And maybe he will, but what would Adam say would that be controlling? Would Adam not want to be with a possessive asshole? And why is he so angry?


	14. Keep feeding me lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry to everyone that i havent posted for such a long time! But im back and will be updating regularly :)

“Uh i um... He’s nothing tommyjoe i promise it was just the one time” Adams face suddenly flooded with a look of angst. Tommy’s heart started pounding in his chest; he clutched it tight as if it were to burst out any second. “so you two...” Tommy unwillingly asked not knowing whether he’d prefer Adam to just lie and say it didn't happen to save him the heartbreak. “Well... We were in a bad place, i just felt so empty when things were so catastrophic between us I didn't know if we’d ever work it out, I just needed something to fill that hole of emptiness”. Tommy’s face was pained “well he certainly filled something” he mumbled resentfully under his breath. “You don't have to be such a sarcastic asshole you know! Tommy I knew instantly that it was the wrong thing to do and I've been beating myself up about it ever since...if I beat myself up anymore I'm seriously going to need medical attention”. Adams tone was genuine he really wasn't joking. Tommy got up and walked to the window his face was flushed it felt like someone was trying to shove his face into a hot oven. Opening the window and staring out over the view of Hollywood he questioned Adam some more, but something deep down was pulling at his gut. He knew he'd also done something so does he really have the right to scrutinise Adam? “Well maybe if you didn't act like one I wouldn't call you one! You haven't seen him since?” Tommy’s voice filled with worry as he dreaded the word “yes” to slip out of Adam's mouth. Adam ignored Tommy’s comment he felt guilty enough about what he'd done and maybe he deserved it. “No Tommy I haven't, of course I haven’t. You're the most important thing to me right now not anyone else. But you know what these boys are like they like to flirt and mess around it does their ego good for some reason”. Tommy bit his lip leaving a small indent in the crease of his soft rose like skin. Tommy dropped his head hiding it in the open space of fabric that separated it from his neck. Adam approached tommy caressing the side of his cheek with his hand, so gentle as if tommy was as precious as porcelain. Clutching the blonde locks of hair that fell over tommy’s face adam gently kissed his cheek. “Youre the only one for me kitty I could never of dreamt that one day you would feel the same way about me, its a blessing”. Tommy’s face grew softer “blessings don't count only god can issue them out and he doesn’t exist” tommy’s tone was smug. “ alright alright damn you really are a hardcore atheist huh?”. Tommy smiled. “i wouldn't be me if i wasn’t”. “and i wouldn't have it any other way” adam smiled back content. “now go jump in the shower you stink” adam slapped tommy's ass making a smelling gesture before laughing. “ you smell worse than me... man you smell like a dumpster” Tommy flashed Adam a cheeky grin before taking his ass to the bathroom.   
A knocking sound came from the door and adam hurriedly chucked some clothes on before heading to the door to answer it. To his disbelief it was josh. Adam's mouth dropped a little before taking a gulp. Of course things weren't going to be easy how naive of him to think it would. Theres always something that gets in the way. “What are you doing here?” Adam whispered trying to be discreet so Tommy couldn't hear, he was catching a quick shower so it wouldn't be long before he came downstairs. Adam needed to get rid of josh quick. “i was just checking to see if everything was okay with you, i text you but I didn't hear anything back?” Josh looked at adam in curiosity. “look josh i'm really sorry but im back with my partner now. All this one night stand stuff it's not me anymore. I was in a bad place and it shouldn't of happened im sorry for wasting your time”. Adam's face was flushed, an overwhelming sense of panic came crashing over him as he knew tommy was going to be present any moment. Josh’s face read confusion all over. “But it was a good night right? I mean we had fun? You just want to cut me out?”. Adam's face grew more pained by the second. “Josh I'm honestly so sorry but you have to leave my partners upstairs. If he sees you it'll set things off again we've already rowed once”. Tommy’s footsteps were easy to hear as he thumped his way down the stairs looking all glam rock and shit. “Already gossiping about me are we asshole?”. Tommy’s tone was sarcastic. Adam's heart was thumping in his chest... it was making him feel dizzy. “umm” adam was lost for words. “Tommy peared at the door confused. Hed never seen this guy before who was he? “Adam who's this?” he asked wearily. “Tommy i... this is um... it’s josh”. Tommy’s face dropped, his knuckles turned white as he gripped his hands tight. How will he react towards a man that shared the same level of intimacy as him for one night with his loved one?


	15. Alone in the dark, hole in my heart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter is a bit of a rollercoaster i hope you enjoy it! May be a little rusty as I haven't Written anything for a while. Sorry for the long wait but here it is!

"You... why" Adam gulped. "Why are you here at my house I thought I told you to leave me alone? Tommy's going to see you!". "Oh Adam always so good with acting the sweetheart. I know you've been thinking about me as much as I have you... that's some nice hands you've got there". Josh's face flushed with a look of mischief, was he out to destroy what Tommy and Adam had? Adams face filled with frustration, it seemed there was always something that was going to be standing in his and tommy's way. "You're not going to go away are you? Please go wait in your car whilst I speak to him... then I'll deal with you're batshit crazy ass... Go!". Adam closed the door straightening himself up, clearing his throat as the lump of guilt rising from his gut grew whilst thinking of an excuse as to how to distract tommy for half an hour... He can't just kick him out that wouldn't be fair. "Hey rockstar who was that?" Tommy looked questioningly. "Oh um... It was uh one of the neighbours just letting me know there's some paparazzi hanging around the area... I'm gonna have to go and check on the gates" Adam tried hard not to choke... he hated lying to Tommy but he didn't want to turn things sour again... especially over some sleazy guy from a club... Big mistake. "How about I run you a nice bath before I go and check things out? You deserve to relax kitty". Adam stroked tommy's face with a look of affection in his eyes. "Oh if you must big boy... And hey if the paps do turn up I can give them a show... I'll hang my soapy ass out the window give them something to really talk about... I been working on this sexy butt for a while now you know dude" Tommy tapped his ass with his hands making a pouty face at adam. Adam couldn't help but laugh at him. "Oh my Tommy what are you like... You do that and the glamberts will break you're twitter and the whole of google together!" They both laughed together as they trailed up the stairs. Adam turned the hot tap till it started to flow out at a rapid pace. Grabbing the bubble bath off the shelf he poured a generous amount into the bath and watched it gradually foam up forming into a luxurious scent of wildflower and passion fruit. "Come on devil child you're bath is ready!" Adam shouted from the crease of the bathroom door. Tommy waltzed in with his towel around his waist... Adam looked him up and down as if he was ready to eat him. "You sure you don't want to join me baby boy" Tommy's face sultry, his eyebrow slowly raised. "You know what get yourself soaped up and hot and I'll come join you after I've dealt with this". Adam smiled at tommy before leaving the bathroom and gently shutting the door. Sure he felt guilty not telling tommy the truth but there's nothing between him and Josh and the quicker he can get Josh to see that the quicker him and Tommy can continue to grow together. Adam rushed downstairs, grabbed his keys and headed outside down the drive towards the car Josh was waiting in. Tapping on the glass of his car Josh opened the door to let Adam in. "Talk about taking you're time... You must be some kind of special for me to wait this long". Josh's tone smooth. "I never asked you to wait this long you could of gone and left us alone". Adam's tone agitated. "And why would I do that for pretty boy? Just look at you... I can't just leave". Josh's hand moved slowly towards Adam's lap. Adam jerked and moved his leg quickly out of panic. "Don't touch me like that you know I'm with Tommy... That was one night... He's my soul mate! I'm sorry but I don't want you". Adam's face contained a serious look as he peered at Josh from the corner of his eye before looking at him directly. "Oh c'mon Adam you don't really mean that do you boo". Boo? Who even uses that word? Who is this guy and why did i ever? Adams head went round in circles as he started to realise he had a real problem on his hands. This guy was becoming slightly obsessed and it started to scare him. "Please just leave now and we can forget this... You can find someone who loves you the same way i promise". 

As Adam battled with Josh, Tommy lead in the bath caressing his skin with a soft sponge spreading the soap across his porcelain skin. Excited waiting for Adam he brushed his hand up past his hard shaft resisting the urge wanting to spend it all on Adam. Taking a gasp, the water rippled past his body as Tommy sat up to check the time. Twenty five minutes had past. Frowning wondering why it was taking Adam so long Tommy panicked that Adam was having some trouble and decided to get out chuck some clothes on and go downstairs to find out what was going on. "Hey Adam?" Tommy asked curiously waiting for a reply. With no answer Tommy went to the front door and opened it. Peering round he couldn't see Adam. But he could see the back end of a car outside.

"Oh Adam, Adam, Adam. You don't get it do you? You're the one I want don't you see? Josh leaned in, grabbed adam by the sides of his cheeks and kissed him holding him there as Adam tried to back off. "Don't ignore what's between us". Adams face filled with terror at what had just happened "Don't you fucking touch me again!" Adams voice broken and shaken. He turned his head to open the door to only see a dishevelled Tommy standing at the rear... A tear rolled from his cheek. "Tommy no I promise it's not..." Adam panicked... Distraught by what Tommy had seen, but knowing it wasn't what he wanted how was he ever going to convince Tommy of that? "I thought you were checking the gates because of the paps and I was waiting for you to come back to me but you're here kissing HIM how... Why would you? I thought you loved me?" Tommy's bottom lip quivered... He wiped his eyes... He didn't want to be seen as a little bitch in front of this asshole. He turned around shoulders slumped and walked towards the door breaking down in tears as he got further away. Adam jumped out of the car slamming the door behind him. "Don't you ever come back to my home again else I'll take the correct measures to ensure you are never able to cross me again" Adams face filled with a flush of beetroot tone before he turned to go after tommy. 

"Tommy please I love you he forced it upon me I swear" He found Tommy in the kitchen with a new opened bottle of vodka and a knife... An inkling of blood dripped from his arm. "You made me do this" Tommy waled into a frenzy of overwhelming hurt and betrayal... He couldn't control the tears that fled from his eyes. "Tommy... What have I done to you? It wasn't like that baby I promise I'm so sorry" Adam slid to the floor, his body knocked of life... Feeling breathless, he can't loose Tommy... Trying to clutch to Tommy, Tommy jerked and turned away from Adam... Adam sat there... tears filled his eyes, what was he to do? He couldn't see a future beyond Tommy he needed him. But he's a danger to himself and Tommy... What was he to do?


End file.
